SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.

PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.

They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.

The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.