The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.

An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.

COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.

CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.

Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.