CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography.

POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.

Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.