CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate".

Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.

ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.

An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.