VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.

REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.