VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.

Doubt is the father of invention.

Past, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance. A moving line called the Present parts it from an imaginary period known as the Future. These two grand divisions of Eternity, of which the one is continually effacing the other, are entirely unlike. The one is dark with sorrow and disappointment, the other bright with prosperity and joy.... Yet the Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one-the knowledge and the dream.

IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.

LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.