TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.

RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, "Homo ventrambulans".