Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen

PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.

To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.