RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.

Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.

RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

Advice, the smallest current coin.

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.