RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.

POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

When in Rome, do as Rome does.

Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.

In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.