Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain-the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.

HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.

BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.