Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.

IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

PENITENT, adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.