Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.

HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that

Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.