Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Definition: CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.