It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.