Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.

To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.