RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.

You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.

optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.

Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.