MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other-which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.

ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.

Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.

NOVEL, n. A short story padded.

RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.