Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.

Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.

ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.

RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.