Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.

Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.

Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.