Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic

Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.

Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.

WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.