RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.

A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.

Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.

BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.