RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.

Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.

A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.

MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.

PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.

REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.