The covers of this book are too far apart.

MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground.

The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.

An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.