The covers of this book are too far apart.

A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography.

EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"

The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.