Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.

MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.