RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.

HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.

MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

To seek a justification for a decision already made.