RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.

UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.