RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.

UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.