PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

A revolution is a violent change of mismanagement.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.

If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.

An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.