PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .

Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.

An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.