GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.

OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.

Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.

Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

UNITARIAN, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.