RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.
Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.