PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.

UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.

One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.