Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.

DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.