OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer . . .

diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.

PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is, instead of as it should be.