OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer . . .

PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.

Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.