WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.
VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.