According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.

FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.

OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.

WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, "the wrath of God," "the day of wrath," etc. . . .