PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.

Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.

Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.

IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.

Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.