Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire

Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.