Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.

CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: "The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses."

One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of "hands across the sea," and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night; professions of eternal amity provide the night.

X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like them, will doubtless last as long as the language.

Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.