STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.