STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.

NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.

Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.