LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.

Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.

Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

Molecule, n.: The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion.