LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.

ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

MONAD, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter (see Molecule). The monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation - containing all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher . .

The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.