ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.

RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.

MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.

Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.

RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.