PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.

Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs

IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.

NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.