KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.

LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.