Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral. If mans notions of right and wrong have any other basis than this of expediency; if they originated, or could have originated, in any other way; if actions have in themselves a moral character apart from and nowise dependent on, their consequences-then all philosophy is a lie and reason a disorder of the mind.

Woman absent is woman dead.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.