A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.

Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.