What really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to know that you have a choice. You can use breakups, which are pivotal points in life, as a catalyst for growth, or you can choose to have it make you jaded and more fear-based.

Try to look at the bigger picture. The majority of people you date will not be your destination. They were meant to be a bridge. So find the lesson, the growth opportunity so you don't have to keep repeating your pattern and crossing that same bridge over and over again. Once you learn what you need to learn and become more self-aware and emotionally healthy, you will then cross another bridge, and one day you'll get to your destination.

There's a great difference between being positive and being delusional.

You don't achieve greatness in life being surrounded by mediocre people with mediocre values. Choose your company wisely.

Get support and be surrounded by people who love you. Sit with the discomfort and the emotions instead of distracting yourself and numbing the pain, or it will just haunt you in another form in the future. Don't be afraid of the pain and darkness. There's information there. There's a lesson to be learned. You can use the experience as a catalyst for growth.

Oftentimes, we get advice from people who are not equipped to give it, and it does more harm than good.

Be kind and gentle on yourself. In this fast-paced world, we are so hard on ourselves and impatient with healing. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to speed up the process. Sure, you can numb the pain or distract yourself, but if you don't allow yourself to process the emotion in a healthy way, the pain and darkness just gets buried deep inside you, and eventually comes up in your future relationships. Stop blaming yourself, and instead try to look for the lesson and the growth opportunity.