What really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to know that you have a choice. You can use breakups, which are pivotal points in life, as a catalyst for growth, or you can choose to have it make you jaded and more fear-based.

Get support and be surrounded by people who love you. Sit with the discomfort and the emotions instead of distracting yourself and numbing the pain, or it will just haunt you in another form in the future. Don't be afraid of the pain and darkness. There's information there. There's a lesson to be learned. You can use the experience as a catalyst for growth.

Get in the habit of writing down three things you're grateful for every day. Studies show that in a two-minute span of time, done over 21 days in a row, you can actually rewire your brain. Your brain starts to retain a pattern of scanning the world for the positive versus the negative. Seeing things in a frame of positivity and gratitude is a muscle. You can strengthen this muscle through practice.

You may not be able to change the events of your history, but you can change the story you've attached to those events.

Try to look at the bigger picture. The majority of people you date will not be your destination. They were meant to be a bridge. So find the lesson, the growth opportunity so you don't have to keep repeating your pattern and crossing that same bridge over and over again. Once you learn what you need to learn and become more self-aware and emotionally healthy, you will then cross another bridge, and one day you'll get to your destination.

Have things to look forward to: Plan a trip, treat yourself to the spa, make plans in the future so that you can focus on what you're looking forward to versus how unbearable your present is. Understand that your brain is detaching. It's the same part of the brain that is activated as a cocaine user feening for their next fix. You're literally in withdrawal. Understand that it takes time for your brain and neural pathways to detach. You're not going crazy - it's just a process, and that process takes time.

Oftentimes, we get advice from people who are not equipped to give it, and it does more harm than good.