Get in the habit of writing down three things you're grateful for every day. Studies show that in a two-minute span of time, done over 21 days in a row, you can actually rewire your brain. Your brain starts to retain a pattern of scanning the world for the positive versus the negative. Seeing things in a frame of positivity and gratitude is a muscle. You can strengthen this muscle through practice.

Get support and be surrounded by people who love you. Sit with the discomfort and the emotions instead of distracting yourself and numbing the pain, or it will just haunt you in another form in the future. Don't be afraid of the pain and darkness. There's information there. There's a lesson to be learned. You can use the experience as a catalyst for growth.

You allow people to treat you the way they do. Your energy, confidence and attitude is the currency that others will transact with.

Oftentimes, we get advice from people who are not equipped to give it, and it does more harm than good.

I've learned through the years how to base my identity and sense of self-worth on myself and not others. I've learned the most critical tool of all: self-love. Now, if it doesn't work out with someone, sure, I'll be hurt. But I'll be bruised, not broken. And I may lose my balance, but I won't be wiped off my feet.

What really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to know that you have a choice. You can use breakups, which are pivotal points in life, as a catalyst for growth, or you can choose to have it make you jaded and more fear-based.

If you want to know someone, just look at who they choose to spend their time with.