Have things to look forward to: Plan a trip, treat yourself to the spa, make plans in the future so that you can focus on what you're looking forward to versus how unbearable your present is. Understand that your brain is detaching. It's the same part of the brain that is activated as a cocaine user feening for their next fix. You're literally in withdrawal. Understand that it takes time for your brain and neural pathways to detach. You're not going crazy - it's just a process, and that process takes time.
Amy ChanWhat really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to know that you have a choice. You can use breakups, which are pivotal points in life, as a catalyst for growth, or you can choose to have it make you jaded and more fear-based.
Amy ChanYou may not be able to change the events of your history, but you can change the story you've attached to those events.
Amy ChanI've learned through the years how to base my identity and sense of self-worth on myself and not others. I've learned the most critical tool of all: self-love. Now, if it doesn't work out with someone, sure, I'll be hurt. But I'll be bruised, not broken. And I may lose my balance, but I won't be wiped off my feet.
Amy Chan