Be kind and gentle on yourself. In this fast-paced world, we are so hard on ourselves and impatient with healing. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to speed up the process. Sure, you can numb the pain or distract yourself, but if you don't allow yourself to process the emotion in a healthy way, the pain and darkness just gets buried deep inside you, and eventually comes up in your future relationships. Stop blaming yourself, and instead try to look for the lesson and the growth opportunity.
Amy ChanWhat really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to know that you have a choice. You can use breakups, which are pivotal points in life, as a catalyst for growth, or you can choose to have it make you jaded and more fear-based.
Amy ChanPeople will become what you think of them. See them for their beauty and they will rise up. See them for their darkness, and they will fall.
Amy ChanThe "natural" instincts when someone is going through a breakup are counterintuitive to healing. For instance, many people stop eating or eat very unhealthy, and if your body is not fed the necessary nutrients during this trying time, it's extremely difficult for you to heal emotionally. So, first things first, force yourself to eat, even if that entails drinking green smoothies so you're getting nutrients in your body.
Amy Chan