I do feel that if you can write one good sentence and then another good sentence and then another, you end up with a good story.

I exaggerated even before I began to exaggerate, because it's true — nothing is ever quite as bad as it could be.

I wanted to be a veterinarian, but slipped up when I hit organic chemistry.

There’s so much I can’t read because I get so exasperated. Someone starts describing the character boarding the plane and pulling the seat back. And I just want to say, Babe, I have been downtown. I have been up in a plane. Give me some credit.

When the beer is gone, so are they -- flexing their cars on up the boulevard.

For peace of mind, I will lie about any thing at any time.

As soon as I knew that I would be all right, I was sure that I was dead and didn't know it. I moved through the days like a severed head that finishes a sentence. I waited for the moment that would snap me out of my seeming life.