I also think if you're an actor and you can improvise, when you go on an audition and you can improvise you're just a genius. If you can, you know, take a Tide commercial and you can just say one funny line that's not in the commercial they think you're a genius.

I believe great people do things before they are ready.

I hope and assume that every good comedy writer, no matter the age, has a moment where they discover how great Cheers is.

You never know what's around the corner unless you peek. Hold someone's hand while you do it. You will feel less scared.

President Bush threw out the first pitch Monday at Cincinnati's great American ball park. 18 Iraqis were killed.

Because of various security lapses, some senators are calling for a probe of the security at the offices of the Department of Homeland Security. The investigation will be conducted by the Department of Irony.

Whenever I read stories of people doing huge pranks on set, all I think is, 'These people have too much time on their hands.' Besides, I don't want to make some poor assistant clean up someone's trailer after I've filled it with, say, Cadbury eggs. See? I can't even think of a good prank.