I also think if you're an actor and you can improvise, when you go on an audition and you can improvise you're just a genius. If you can, you know, take a Tide commercial and you can just say one funny line that's not in the commercial they think you're a genius.

I had no idea how to get guys to notice me. I still don't. Who cares?

Great people do things before they're ready...You might find out something about yourself that's really special and if you're not good, who cares? You tried something.

A top McCain policy adviser claimed this week that McCain's work in the Senate helped create the BlackBerry, saying, 'You're looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.' He then handed the BlackBerry to McCain, who attempted to withdraw $20 from it.

I have a boyfriend who knows how to settle me. He puts his hand on my chest and tells me boring stories. On one of our first nights together I woke up apologizing for my snoring and he pulled out two earplugs he had worn to bed so he could hear what I was saying.

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh.

If I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I'd go to one of Jonah Hill's pool parties.