If I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I'd go to one of Jonah Hill's pool parties.

The minute anyone makes you feel weird and non-included or not supported, you know, either beat it or tell them to beat it.

The French have launched their own version of Google, called Quaero. You just type in the subject you're interested in, and Quaero refuses to look it up for you.

An interesting thing about the beginning of our friendship and professional collaboration [with Tina Fey] was that the improve scenes we would do together were basically dramatic and not funny at all.

Don't treat your heart like an action figure wrapped in plastic and never used.

If you're a good improviser, you improvise well enough that people think that you're doing a sketch.

I also think if you're an actor and you can improvise, when you go on an audition and you can improvise you're just a genius. If you can, you know, take a Tide commercial and you can just say one funny line that's not in the commercial they think you're a genius.