Believe me, blond hair can take you really far, especially with the older men. It can really distract from the face. I am convinced I could have had sex with both Tony Bennett and John McCain if we weren't each happily married at the time we all met.

If I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I'd go to one of Jonah Hill's pool parties.

The creation of the UCB Theatre is by far my proudest professional accomplishment.

Just breathe. Sometimes you're only a few breaths away from feeling better.

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh.

I get a little itchy if I don't have some control.

Open-faced sandwiches take risks and live big and smile with all their teeth. These are the people I want to be around.