I worked at an ice cream parlor called Chadwicks. We wore old-timey outfits and had to bang a drum, play a kazoo, and sing 'Happy Birthday' to people while giving them free birthday sundaes. Lots of ice cream scooping and $1 tips.

I used to say that I wanted to make great art with people I love. Now I have an addendum to that goal: to get things on the air.

Hey, guess what? Turns out the free market? Not so free. Wall Street was hit hard Monday when Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch was sold to Bank of America, and insurance giant AIG neared a collapse of its own. Basically, if your commercials air during golf tournaments, you're done.

Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier.

Rooting for other people's failure does get in the way of your success.

Ang Lee's been nominated for best director for "Life of Pi," which is what I'm going to call the six weeks after I take this dress off.

However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, 'I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.'