I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.

I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too.

I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.

I just want to get the most money I can.

I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I'm equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working my ass off and staying at the pace I'm at, and I feel a responsibility to do that because of the women who have done it before me, and the ones who need to do it after me.

The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh.

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.