I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.

Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.

I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.

I've got a terrible person in me just as much as anybody else, and I think - I like to think I also have a really good person in me.

Now every idiot from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird vampire parties. No, I don't want to follow you on Twatter. Like, nobody's interested in you. I don't want to see you in real life, why would I want to follow you in the imaginary one?

Stand-up is not something that you're good at right away. You have to do it a ton. But, I think I got to shave a year off because I didn't have to get over stage fright.

I hate false advertising, like 'Skittles: taste the rainbow.' No one's ever been like, 'Rainbow, right you guys?' Or what's Reese's? 'There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's.' Oh, really? Tell that to my uncle who used to put them in my underwear. Alright, maybe your uncles didn't love you.