The way that these girls keep themselves skinny is awful, isn't it? By vomiting or using hard drugs - which I can't afford.
Amy SchumerStand-up is not something that you're good at right away. You have to do it a ton. But, I think I got to shave a year off because I didn't have to get over stage fright.
Amy SchumerIt's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?
Amy SchumerI asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn't have any. They offered me Pinot.
Amy Schumer